Monday, August 1, 2011

Macey....

 Can a parent every really prepare for the day their child spreads their wings and fly?  
I thought I would be ok...I mean let's face it...
...sometimes a parent/teenager relationship can be a challenge...
...and Macey and I fought plenty...just like I fought with my parents at that age.  
A challenge. 
I used to tell Macey that she needed to be on her own...
...just so she knew what it was like to really be on her own and just how much we did do for her.  
I also used to think...I can't wait til she is on her own...
...but only so we could actually be friends...to like each other...
....a relationship without so much tension.  
Macey used to tell us...rather often...that she couldn't wait til she was out of our house...
 ...and then as the months got closer to graduation...this girl of mine...
 ...well she softened...the thought of rushing out of our home...
...those thoughts of getting as far away from us didn't seem so good...
...no she didn't want to go school in Montana...which for months she had planned on...
...no she wanted to stay closer to us...guess she didn't think we were so bad after all...
 ...however by this time Steve had already applied for the job in Wyoming...
...eventually getting the job.
Bittersweet. 
As weeks got closer the thought of leaving her really hit me...
...my baby girl would soon be an adult...no longer living with us...
...making her way in this world on her own.  
Nothing can prepare you for the mix of emotions...
...excited for what the future will hold for her...
...heartbroken at the thought of days...weeks...and even months without her.
I cried...often.
Still do a bit. 
 I cannot tell you how differently our home feels without her...of course it's a new home yes...
...so of course it's all different...
...but not having her here is not something I could prepare for...
...it seems quieter...a little lonely...
 I don't love being the only girl in the house.
 The positive?   
She is doing great...adjusting to this not being close like she hoped for.
She's enjoying the sun...
 ...and all that this last summer as a child will bring...
...this makes it easier...
So happy she is happy!  
And now...
when she is here in our home...
...we like each other...we enjoy each other's company...
 ...less of a challenge.
It's those visits that I will look forward too...
...will cherish...
...will be grateful for...