Friday, January 9, 2009

Acknowledging my creative self

I just purchased a new book - 12 Secret of Highly Creative Women and I joined a book-blogging group to go along with it. I figured this couldn't come at a better time.
I am currently struggling with what I want to be when I grow up. Or maybe the better question - am I already what I want to be when I grow up? Is it enough? Is it OK? Of course the situation with our economy makes me wonder if I shouldn't go back to school and get a real job - I think that this if often the case with artists or at least budding artist. Are we enough just being an Artist? Sometimes I don't really feel like a true artist or a true business owner.
I talked to my husbands step mom and voiced that I was thinking about going back to school and she said something like "oh you don't really want to go back to school do you?" My answer is NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then she went on to say I already had a wonderful job being a mother and a very talented artist (sorry Gerrie if that's not exactly what you said - but it was something along those lines). It was so nice to be able to really voice that and hear such a positive response. And when I told my older sister Jodi that I wanted to go back to school her response was very similar - to nurture the creative side.
So that is where I am in my creative journey - thinking maybe I should go to school and get a degree because I would have a 9 - 5 job with a steady income and I could contribute more to my family's income. But I am petrified that my creative soul will dry up - because I will be too tired to create and a little sad at the loss of my creative title....Jewelry Designer, Small Business Owner.
Truly I want to remain an artist - to continue to grow and nurture Star Hitched Wagon™ - a journey that started really when I was 16. It is my heart and soul, something I truly cannot imagine NOT doing. So I guess I answered my own question - now to forge on - to grow - to become more successful - to become more organized - to accept that I am what I want to be when I grow up - I AM AN ARTIST!!!
Stacey - the Artist:

Edit: I just want to explain that my doubts come from inside - I am a truly blessed individual when it comes to support - my mom is my biggest salesman, my brother in law Brady compliments me often, my little sister is always on my site and shares is with coworkers, my mother in law is always telling me I am an ARTIST, my dad looks and compliments, my kids are proud to tell their teachers what I do, all of my family spreads the word about my website and jewelry, great business from my neighbors. SO really I just need to let go of my doubts...............